Purpose Archives - Pressed

Pretty Girls 🥀

Amanda Cruz Herberg — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 19:22:56 +0000

Big girls in the back and pretty thin girls in the front,

After all that’s what the world says is pretty,

Based on ever changing Eurocentric standards.

Imma big girl-

Big butt, big thighs, weighing 185

Big stomach from being postpartum twice

Big hair, big eyes, big smile,

Which means I gotta BIG MOUTH

And sorry, it doesn’t know how to stay shut,

When I feel like something’s not right or just.

SUBTEXT & SUBTLETY.

Those are truly key, in all of this.

“You’re beautiful” (enough)

“You’re great!” (but not to headline)

And the general RESPONSE:

” I hear you but...(explanation)

“I apologize but…. (justification)

“Well, it’s good enough”

“Why are you bringing up this stuff?”

“That was never my intention”

You don’t get a free pass because your “intentions were good,”

What you say may be short and sweet, but your words are still cutting.

Your ignorance is not B L I S S

So how am I the bad guy in all of this?

I’m pointing out what’s wrong and what’s right,

You back yourself into a corner and indirectly put the blame on me,

That’s not fair, and it’s not nice.

So if I stand up I’m A T T A C K I N G

And if I stand down, I’m FLOATING

So what is the place for me?

People preach, to speak things with PEACE and LOVE;

PEACE and LOVE

I’M ABOUT TO FLIP TABLES on your “PEACE AND LOVE”

CAUSE

There’s no peace without LOVE

There’s no love without ACCEPTANCE

And not everyone is accepted the SAME

You can tell me I’m being dramatic

But then I assume you are either white, thin, and/or pretty,

And wouldn’t get it

Because you are well R E P R E S E N T E D.

The truth is big girls DO cry,

And big girls get pushed aside,

But then big girls push back

And they go, “I’m not just a big girl in the back-

IMMA HEADLINER, SHOWSTOPPER”

And no one’s going to stop her.

You’re not going to silence me,

Because there’s too much of me that refuses to be unheard or unseen.

I am PRETTY!

And NOT just for a big girl,

Not just my face, my hair, but ALL of me

So screw the world and their standards for beauty!

And anyone that subscribes to thin, white, pretty,

That’s pretty petty,

Because you are cheating yourself out of seeing so much

~B E A U T Y~

The truth is ALL girls belong in the front,

And that back row should be empty.

Why?

Because ALL GIRLS ARE PRETTY GIRLS

——————————————————————————–

COMMENTARY:

Art is interpretive. As the artist of this writing piece, I would like to explain my interpretation:

I want to acknowledge difficult topics and have these hard conversations, to learn and grow from one another.

Pretty and thin always win- that is truly the way of the world. So let’s just call it what it is. Now knowing that is the way of world and acknowledging that truth and its harmful effects are two completely separate things. So when people make blanket statements like “everybody is beautiful as they are” but then only a certain body type is represented (a.k.a. thinner, white or as close white as possible) disproportionately to other shapes, sizes, and colors, NO you aren’t showing that you believe “every body is beautiful as they are;” You are still subscribing to that Eurocentric standard (a.k.a. white culture is the norm).

People then try to defend with mindsets like “Well, change needs to happen but we’re/they’re still doing a decent job,” or “That wasn’t my intention so can you just accept that and drop it?,” or “Here we go again… why can’t you just focus on other good things that are going on instead?”, or “Well everyone struggles with different things,” as if somehow this all excuses or negates the fact that change still needs to occur.These statements and mindsets are the equivalent of when someone says “Black Lives Matter” and then another person responds ignorantly/arrogantly “Well, All lives matter really,” and thinks they caused no harm. You literally dropped a bomb, ran away and naively acted as if you had nothing to do with the inevitable explosion; but you get to go about your life, unaffected.

Then some people ask, seemingly sympathetic, what they can do to change things. So, you give them a specific answer, but they don’t execute it. This is the same mindset of asking someone, ” How are you doing?” but expecting that they’ll just say they’re “fine”, because then you get the credit of offering help without actually having to do anything to help. So when someone actually offers solutions, many times they are met with silence, or that person is perceived as crossing the line/aggressive. Then when nothing changes and that person gets angry about it, they are the ones that look like the overreactive monster while the other party appears seemingly innocent. And at the end of the day,

All that person was trying to do was advocate for

~R E A L C H A N G E~

So what do we learn here kids? That we as a society like the idea of change but don’t really want to change things, because it can potentially cause discomfort, be a lot of work, and dare I say it- disturb the “status quo.” As a society we want the credit for appearing willing to change without actually having to execute change.

These things happen so subtly that people don’t even realize that it’s happening, or worse, that they are taking part in it. That’s why it’s called a

~M I C R O A G G R E S S I O N~

This leads into the next problem of society: most people try to diffuse a situation by justifying, explaining, or bringing in other perspectives; but what is really needed in the moment is validation alone, no further justification or explanation. Most people don’t know how to just validate, or apologize, it’s always an “I hear you but,” “I’m sorry but” and we need to just eliminate that “but” mentality.

There’s definitely a time and place to bring in different perspectives. However when someone is sharing about their struggle, that isn’t the time for those other perspectives- that is the time for sympathy and validation of feelings. That’s the core point of BLM, body positivity, reclaiming the word slut, etc. Those harmful mindsets just bleed into everything- society, relationships, etc., and people need to recognize this in order to establish REAL CHANGE.

~What is meant to be diffusion can undermine someone’s feelings, when all they needed was validation.~

This isn’t about intentions, offensives, defensives, or hurt feelings; This is about honest acknowledgement of the truth to change things for the better.

————————————————

Keep pressing on,

-Amanda

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Questioning….

Amanda Cruz Herberg — Mon, 22 Mar 2021 00:05:01 +0000

No filter, no shame… and I dare you to say you don’t question the same…

Would I rather hang out with atheists, agnostics, non-christians, or a flat out stranger than the Christians of today? Yes I would. And I bet Jesus would too. As a matter of fact when he walked this earth that’s exactly what he did..

Today’s Christian is the modern- day Pharisee….

“You hypocrites!”…..

Why do you think so many people turn away from the faith? It’s sure not because of God or Jesus; it’s because of Christians and modern day white Protestant Christianity.

Are most Christians judgmental hypocrites? (I would say yes)

Do I denounce Christ? (No). Do I denounce Christianity? (YES)

Is Christ embarrassed of modern day Christianity? (I think so.)

“The great white hope” sent to a third world country to spread a message of whiteness – whoops

excuse me – hope, to the sad sad lowly communities…

You’re not a saint – you’re a Sinner. So get in line with the rest of us.

“Ooooh help me, I’m poor….”

Nah, if your Christians eyes were opened you would see how they’re the rich ones focusing on what matters, revering the word of God, and you’re the poor ones…

Poor in spirit…

Poor in materialism….

Poor in distraction…

Poor.

I’m poor in this way too, most of us are, whether you’re Christian or not.

Questioning…

Is God really angry at me if I say “fuck” when I’m angry? It’s not

Like I’m saying fuck you, or fuck God

Is God angry with the woman getting the abortion, or the person judging the woman for getting an abortion? (I believe the latter is true)

“Whoever is without sin, cast the first stone…”

Why the hell do Christians paint Jesus as a white European man when he was anything but? He was a Jew, from the Middle East. He was a man of color! I much rather see a depiction of a black Jesus, than a white one

Does God despise those who identify as LGBTQA+ (I apologize if this is not the accurate acronym) or does he despise those who oppress them, dehumanize them? (The latter I believe to be true)

Does God hate me because I’ve had many sexual partners, women included, done drugs, smoked cigarettes, gotten black out drunk, been apart of a few drug deals in my past? Or does he grieve that I went through these experiences because at the heart of it I was feeling lost, insecure, and unworthy? (I believe the latter to be true)

Would God rather you go through an existential crisis and come out on the other side concluding that he’s not real, or follow a religion blindly because you’re too afraid to question and do otherwise?

At least the former is honest and real…

Is there a difference between following a God-man with a heart for saving humanity, whose seeking the will of God – and Christianity? (I 100% say yes!)

Is Jesus disappointed in the majority of those who call themselves “Christian,” but practice false humility, self-righteousness, asceticism, and legalism? (I believe this is a Hell Yes)

Questioning…..

I drink and smoke – am I the “worst of sinners” because of it? (NO)

Should I be able to wear the sleaziest thing I can find without the fear of being objectified or raped? (Fuck yes)

Whoops, there I go being scandalous again. That’s not very Christian is it? Good thing I don’t identify as a Christian anymore…

Should the western church apologize for being stale, mostly white run, whitewashed (brainwashed)? Yes, yes they should. No wonder people want nothing to do with you, and that’s coming from someone who loves Jesus. But I can’t stand you….

“I like your Christ… but I don’t like your Christian…”

Christians – did you guys forget that when God created the world, it wasn’t complete until he created woman?

So what the fuck’s up with sexism then?…

White people, white church – do you think anyone has time to be your token fill in the blank_______- (Black, Hispanic, Asian, Indian, Native American, Jewish, Arabic, list goes on…) friend? So you can claim that you’re “diversified”? No one’s got time for this nonsense!

Wait a minute, am I that token person for some of my white friends? Oh shit…

Or do my white girlfriends like me because I can blend in? Talk like them, act like them, straighten my hair and look like them… oh and wear Carhartt, can’t forget the Carhartt now…

Questioning…..

Do I remind my white husband that this world, this life, was made for him, to appease him and his kind (blonde hair, blue eyes, whiter than wonder bread, tall, Christian)? Yes I do, all the fucking time. I tell him to not forget, not take it for granted, and to use his position to help others. And I will say the same to my half white sons. They will grow up knowing what’s up.

White privilege is REAL!! While this is not a question it needs to be stated. Shit, I’d be lying if I didn’t think I’ve benefited from white privilege because I’m light skinned. SO FUCKED UP

“There goes that pasty Puerto Rican…”

“Walking, talking, acting like a white girl…”

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t question, if that was part of why my husband married me. I know when he showed someone a picture of me very tan, they asked

“Is she black?”

At the time we laughed it off… but why is that funny? What if I was black, would that have changed anything? Maybe I should find a way to permanently change my skin dark brown- black and see if that changes the way I am seen as a Latina woman…

Questioning…..

Do I have more white friends than friends from other ethnicities? (Unfortunately yes I do)

I need to diversify… I confessed this publicly on a stage not long ago

Do I feel whitewashed? (YES. I. FUCKING. HATE. IT.)

My husband and I purposely chose to live somewhere where our family would be the minority. A place stereotyped for being “dangerous,” “run down”, “impoverished.” The truth is, I’ve never felt more at home; I’ve never felt more community and belonging.

Is it better to spend your life working and working and working, finally dying from the exertion and then working some more, or taking a fucking break and focusing on what actually matters- family, friends, community, connections, neighbors, missions, travel, advocacy?

Questioning….

Isn’t it interesting how when people die, so many people have all these amazing, wonderful things to say about the dead? How their character was great; how deeply they impacted the community, and how much they’ll be missed.

I wonder if those people felt that loved and cared for when they were alive? Sadly, we tend to tell people how we truly feel about them during times of turmoil. Maybe if we did a better job at consistently reaching out, the turmoil wouldn’t exist to begin with?

Questioning….

How many of you were strippers, and drug users, drug dealers, pornography addicts, promiscuous, questioned your sexuality, entertained the idea of abortion out of fear, have cheated, gone to jail or prison, maybe even have murdered, but now you’re a

“reformed Christian,” holier than thou,

and judge those very same people?

You know that many a priest, and ministers, and youth pastors have been discovered as pedophiles, rapists, and sex traffickers, right?

Holier than thou? Please… I wouldn’t be so proud of your religion right now…

Questioning….

You know what everyone’s problem is? We want to explain ourselves…

Justify….

Criticize…

Give our unwanted opinions and thoughts…

Troll….

Judge something that we have never had to go through..

Have you ever had an unplanned pregnancy scare? Then don’t judge abortion. Especially if you’re a man, because she didn’t climb on top of herself and get herself pregnant.

If you’re White, are you ever going to be Black? Asian? Hispanic? Arabic? A person of color? Then don’t speak for these people and act like racism doesn’t exist. Especially if you’re a white man… my white husband already knows…

At the end of the day, sorry would go a long way….

Questioning….

I feel like my faith (in God and humanity) is being tested and refined.

Christians, you might be pissed that I wrote this… but why don’t you turn your focus inward and ponder what you guys must of done to cause a once Christian woman to feel this way? To denounce Christianity? Maybe somewhere in there you can muster up an apology… no one needs more arguments, pride, stubbornness, criticisms, judgments, justifications…

“Take the plank out of your own eye”….

To the Church: You would do well to take a note from Daniel and Ezra from the Bible, and take on some communal guilt and apologize… apologize for the religiosity you place above God that deters people from Jesus…

To white people: you would do well to take on some communal guilt and apologize… apologize for the ways minorities have been poorly treated for centuries by the white dominant culture

Sorry would go a long way…

I wonder if people came from a posture of love and care- in that special way we care for newborn babies – instead of rigidity and rules, if people would finally understand the love of Christ; the fact that he died for you, just for you… because he loves you.

Questioning….

Have I offended you with this post? Is your heart pumping faster than normal? Do you want to have words with me? Good. At least I elicited something real…

And here’s another thought to leave Christians with…

If this is Satan’s world then is it possible that he’s encouraging the continuation of Christianity, seeing how far it’s fallen from what Christ actually stood for? After all he is the antichrist, so if Christianity has become the opposite of Christ, well then Christians are doing all the work for him, aren’t they?

I’ve been a prisoner to my OCD mind for over 2 decades, shaped by the influences of Catholicism and non- denominational Christianity; stuck in legalism, and self-condemnation. Afraid to ask questions.

Now I’m saying screw it, and I feel the freedom to question.

So I’m questioning…. everything

The post Questioning…. appeared first on Pressed.

The Problem with Pride

Amanda Cruz Herberg — Sun, 19 Apr 2020 00:15:58 +0000

So ironically, I lost control worse this week than last week when I published my “Lose Control” blog post, lol. Each week of the “stay at home, stay safe” or “ shelter in place” order, whichever term you prefer, has come with different challenges. Ever since the extension of this order to April 30th in Michigan, more stress and pressure had been added and it was clear that everyone was feeling it. Then came the division- the “us vs. them” mindset. That became especially apparent after the events of this week.

Up until now, I had been trying to keep my emotions in check, which is extremely difficult as I am a very emotionally-driven person. I was trying to turn to healthy outlets like my blog, video chatting with family and friends and confiding in them, posting cute pictures of my son on social media, sharing about opportunities to help others during this time, and making time each day for prayer and reflection. However, this week it was getting harder to cope, when I kept hearing stories of those affected by the current crisis paired with people’s decisions that I did not agree with.

So I caved. I posted my concern on social media paired with an article. It wasn’t supposed to be about fear-mongering or even meant to change anyone’s mind, but it was an outlet for me to share my frustration and give people something to consider. But in reality, is that ever what actually happens on social media? Most times, no. What actually happens is the people that already agree with you “like” your post, and the people that don’t share your opinion will continue to disagree with you. There is one thing you accomplish though- more division.

Although I am a very emotionally charged person, I am not a gentle one by nature. I am a person driven by passion, a heart for social justice, and problem solving. The downside of that is I can become easily offended, take things personally, and be aggressive with my wording. I feel like that’s what happened when I made the post on social media.

You know, trying to work through your emotions is like leveling up on a video game; You make so much progress, defeat the villains, collect new tools and weapons that are helpful along the way, and continue to level up. You then get to that really hard level- the one that takes you multiple attempts to actually beat. Then there’s always that one time when you get really really far on that hard level, and you think you’ve basically got it in the bag! Before you know it, you fall into a trap and have to start that level all over again. Don’t you hate it when that happens? For me, that really “hard level” to beat is anger and control- which is fueled by the greatest villain of all: Pride.

I crave control in all situations; yet, I have every opportunity to demonstrate self-control and I don’t.

I spent a lot of time the past two days in prayer and reflection. I asked God a list of questions:

Are you truly directing people to respond in different ways to this crisis?
Is our right to freedom truly more important than the health and safety of the masses?
What do I need to let go of and what should I stand up for?
Am I wrong in my thinking?
Am I wrong in my execution?

I felt like God told me that my concern was understandable, but my execution was off. Don’t you also hate when that happens? If you’re a prideful person like me, then the answer is yes. I then proceeded to justify why I posted what I did, and how it was my way of standing up on a justice issue, since that is the person God has made me to be. Guys, I’m arguing with God. GOD. Even if you don’t believe in God, you know that conceptually God is this big almighty, omnipotent being. So the idea of me arguing with Him is absurd, no matter how you look at it.

Then God brought me to this verse, gently and lovingly I might add, being himself the example of what he wanted me to be. Now, if you don’t believe in God, Jesus, or the Bible, just indulge me for a moment and read this next part:

“It will lead to an opportunity for you to witness. Therefore, make up your minds not to prepare your defense ahead of time, for I will give you such words and a wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist and contradict.”

-Luke 21:13-15

When I tested what I wrote on social media against this statement, did it uphold? Easily not. I had prepared my defense long before that post, and it definitely was not used as an opportunity to witness- to show Godly love and kindness to my neighbor. Although my intentions stemmed from a caring place, my words were harsh and my execution was off; therefore it could easily be refuted and contradicted by those I disagreed with. And that, my friend, is the problem with pride.

To put things even more in perspective, God showed me that I crave control in all situations; yet, I have every opportunity to demonstrate self-control and I don’t. Whoa, light bulb turned on. I guess this is what He meant by providing words and a wisdom that can’t be resisted or contradicted. There is nothing I can say to refute that. The only thing I can say is that it’s true, and I’m wrong. Talk about being humbled.

So my friends, when it comes to anger, control, and pride, some things I am working on putting into practice are*:

Am I showing love and kindness to others?
Am I preparing my defense ahead of time, from a place of anger and control?
Are my words harsh and just going to add more fuel to the fire?
Is this just a cheap shot to put someone in their place?

If I am answering “no” to the first point and “yes” to the rest, then I need to stand down. I need to take some deep breaths, and re-calibrate. There is a right way and time to address issues that are important. However just like I wrote in my previous blog post, “Lose Control”, not everything that bothers us warrants a reaction. For those issues that need to be addressed, you can do so in a way that’s kind, respectful, wise, yet assertive; but even so, the object shouldn’t be to prove how you’re right and “they’re” wrong. Just like a friend reminded me, not everything is black and white. A simple statement, but a powerful one. I’m trying to keep that in mind, so that I can better practice compassion and have a softened heart towards those I don’t necessarily agree with; they have concerns and a story as well.

So, this is me starting over on that “really hard” level. It may take me multiple attempts to beat it, and I hope to receive grace from those around me as I figure it out. However I am confident with God’s strength, that I’ll beat this level just as I have beaten previous ones, and if you have the same problem with pride that I do, I believe you will be victorious too.

Keep pressing on,

-Amanda

* For more information on the themes of criticism, control, and anger, check out Embraced, by Lysa Terkeurst

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Gratitude

Amanda Cruz Herberg — Sat, 21 Mar 2020 23:51:57 +0000

Day 9 of #SocialDistancing / self-quarantine got me feeling like…

… Anybody with me?

I just wanted to break the ice for a minute. But in all seriousness this is a challenging time for everyone, from being or knowing a health care professional who is working on the front lines of the Covid-19/Coronavirus outbreak, or those working at swamped groceries stores, to having vulnerable loved ones. You’re probably wondering what is there to be grateful for right now?

Since the state of emergency was issued in Michigan a little over a week ago, I have been trying to manage precaution vs. anxiety, and encouragement vs. discouragement. I’m sure many others can relate to this sentiment. Then there’s the mixed messages of “stay home- social distancing is key!” vs. “ there are needs in the community come out and volunteer!” and I found myself caught in between all of this. However after some prayer and reflection this is finally where I landed: I’m choosing to focus on gratitude.

Okay I can feel your eyes rolling, but hear me out: I am in no way trying to minimize what you are going through right now. Anyone with heightened anxiety, I am right there with ya! My stress is seeping out through increased OCD symptoms, and I’m doing my best to manage them at the moment. I guess what I’m trying to highlight is that, we can’t control our circumstances but we can practice controlling our reactions to them. Key word is practice, because controlling our reactions is much easier said than done.

We can’t control our circumstances but we can practice controlling our reactions to them.

So, Gratitude. Some things I am grateful for are:

Gratitude #1. My health and the health of my loved ones- at the moment we are not sick and not everyone can say that right now
Gratitude #2 SUNLIGHT and longer days- there have definitely been some gray days, but by Michigan standards, there have been a TON of sunny days lately, especially for this time of the year. I am thankful to bask in the sunlight until 7:30pm instead of the usual 4pm, like in the winter time
Gratitude #3 Family time- I am very thankful that my husband has the ability to work from home; I understand not everyone is able to work remote right now. Having my husband work from home has created increased family time with our son. Super thankful for this!
Gratitude #4 Technology- Yes, social media and technology in general can be soul sucking and cause, ironically, feelings of social isolation. However during this time of social distancing especially, it has been a super helpful tool to check-in with family and friends, and them with me as well. I am not big on video chatting but it has helped me stay engaged with my women’s bible study. Looking at funny memes and GIFs on Insta and Facebook has got me ROTFL! It reminds me that we are all in this together.

My gratitude list could go on. I know the things I’ve listed aren’t profound or anything new. However this time has caused me to take a step back and truly appreciate the blessings in my life, and the typical every day things I take for granted.

Once you are able to ground yourself a bit, what are some things you can do to help yourself, your family, and those around you? I would say for many of us the best thing we can do is practice social distancing, to help slow down the spread and give hospitals a fighting chance to keep up with the needs of those who are ill. This is huge and should not be taken lightly.

Yes, there are people called to serve in the community to provide for those in need during this time. I admit, I really wanted to be one of those people mobilizing in the community and helping out. I felt like that was more valuable than social distancing, and I was feeling guilty that I was not doing that. However after more prayer and reflection, I realized that this wasn’t true. I am doing my part by social distancing by ensuring my health, the health of my son, and to remain healthy in the event my husband or I need to check up on either of our grandmothers- who are some of the most vulnerable right now.

So, if you are one of those people that are able to go out in the community and serve right now, awesome and thank you so much because that is truly incredible and needed! If you are like me and are practicing social distancing, awesome and thank you so much too because that is just as valuable and just as needed! We all need to do our part.

What are some things you can do to help yourself, your family, and those around you?

I love leaving tips and tools at the end of my blogs- you might have noticed that is a common trend! In that spirit, here are some practical ways to provide self-care, keep your sanity, and do your part during this time of need:

Keep a gratitude journal- Each day record one thing that was great about it, doesn’t have to be anything fancy, it could be one sentence. This simple act can be uplifting and keep you in a positive head space. I will start: today I was so grateful to “meet” with my women’s bible study group over zoom and push my baby around in his new cozy coupe outside!
Quality time with family- whether it’s board games in the living room or pushing your little tot outside in a wagon, make this time intentional with your children and soak up that sunlight!
Send funny texts, gifs, etc. to family & friends- A small thing but it can quickly bring a smile to your face and theirs Also this can be a time to check in with family and friends about how they are doing, and be honest about how you are doing as well
Video chat- share a meal with a friend over video chat! Download the Zoom app, Skype, or video chat over Facebook!
Read and exercise- Great for mind and body! Have a never ending reading list like me? Perfect! Now is the time to catch up Maybe you’re not able to go to the gym but if appropriate for you, you can walk around your neighborhood? Also many gyms are now offering free virtual workouts! Say What! check out what your local gym is offering now
(If appropriate) Contribute to local businesses- Although dining in at restaurants and coffee shops is not available (at least not in Michigan), you can still get a meal or coffee once in a while by drive thru! Great opportunity to support local businesses and treat yo’ self!
(If appropriate) Donate- Many local organizations could use financial support for food boxes and care packages for those in the community. Many children receive their main meals for the day at school, and unfortunately schools are closed at the moment in Michigan. So, even though many of us are practicing social distancing, some of us are able to still financially support the community. Here are a few great local organizations you can support if you are in the Metro-Detroit area: Micah 6 Community and MyCovidResponse. If you do feel so led to and it is appropriate, you may consider volunteering with these organizations as well. Also if you have a neighbor in need, connect them to these services!
Send cards to your local hospital staff- A friend of mine had this idea and it is so good, I wanted to pass it on! This small act can demonstrate your gratitude for the work they are doing right now, and really be an encouragement to them during this difficult time.
PLEASE thank the Grocery Store employees!- Next time you hop on over to the grocery store, (hopefully only for essential items and not buying the store out of all of their toilet paper), please thank them for their hard work as well. Seriously, they are exposed to countless people daily, working long hours dealing with the swarms of people buying out Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, and food. Please be nice and show some gratitude for them!
If you’re a praying person- PRAY. Pray for these times of uncertainty, the health of the vulnerable, those in need in the community, those who are sick and need medical attention, for health care professionals, for this virus to be contained.. the list is continuous. For those who pray, please continue to. Even if you don’t normally pray, it couldn’t hurt to. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer

Regardless of what you are doing right now, try to keep your head up, know that you are not alone and that your feelings are validated. An important thing to practice right now is self-care, because if you aren’t taking good care of yourself then you’re not going to be able to help those around you either.

As always, keep pressing on!

-Amanda

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Personality [500 & 1 cont’d]

Amanda Cruz Herberg — Sat, 14 Mar 2020 21:30:45 +0000

Before we can figure what we are good at and how to pursue those passions, it is helpful to know what our personality type is. I used to mentally roll my eyes when people would discuss the latest personality test they took and describe all the personality types. To me, I thought I’m not going to box myself in by what is written on a piece of paper.

However, when I described to my therapist that I was feeling stuck in this season of life, and felt like I was doing too much and not enough at the same time, she could tell that I was being hard on myself. She suggested that I take a personality test to better understand my personality type. So, I took her up on her suggestion and I found that the tests were helpful! At first, I thought I would just read stuff I either already knew about myself or possibly disagreed with it, but that wasn’t the case. I found that the personality tests helped me better understand myself, helping me to see that I’m not a “problem” or too sensitive, but it really was all a part of my personality. It helped me to better understand my strengths and difficulties, as well as why I interact with people the way that I do. It also helped me to better understand other people’s personalities, and that there wasn’t a need to be sensitive about how other people responded or act towards me.

Understanding your personality can help you learn how you operate, and thus help you know what areas of expertise you will thrive in. This is especially helpful when trying to figure out your passion and purpose in life. Below are some personality tests, give them a try!

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Spiritual Gifts Test

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500 & 1

Amanda Cruz Herberg — Sat, 14 Mar 2020 20:19:52 +0000

In the spirit of clapping yourself on- what are some things that you are really good at? Like I talked about in my last post, we often focus on what other people are good at but down play our own skills and talents. I think part of why we do this is because we have an interest in something awesome, but we may feel like we don’t know how to get started or we persuade ourselves into not pursuing it altogether.

I, for instance, love to write (i.e. this blog). I especially love writing poetry and used to share at an Open Mic night weekly back when I attended Oakland University. It scared the crap out of me every time – but I did it and felt exhilarated afterward. It was life giving and I felt like I was making purpose out of a passion of mine. Eventually, I fell out of it. It got harder to motivate myself to get on stage each time. Over time, I fell into that lovely comparison game and thought about how other people where more talented and had something better to offer than I did with my poetry. I started thinking about other things I loved too like art, photography, cinema – anything really in the creative arts. However, I realized everyone and their mother was pursuing these things already, so I thought why would I as well? I knew friends that were doing blogs; I had tons of friends and mutual friends that were heavy into photography and were really good at it. So I thought, why bother? For a little while whenever I heard someone was pursuing writing or photography for instance, I thought to myself, “Why? Everyone else is already doing that. Why be yet another person.?” Without realizing it, I was devaluing myself, and slowly, devaluing others as well.

What are some things that you are really good at?

This attitude created anger, resentment, and a feeling like I was fading into the background. When you work too much and don’t get enough sleep at night, this lowers your immune system, making you more susceptible to illness. Well, the same is true for mental health; my unhelpful thoughts and feelings made me more vulnerable to my OCD struggles, creating more anxiety, irritation, anger, and leading to depression. Sometimes we feel like not pursuing our passions isn’t that big of a deal, because there’s a chance that it won’t become anything anyway. Let me tell you, it’s a very big deal! Not pursuing these things chips away at you slowly, leading you to feel unimportant and invisible. Pursing your passions is the thing that breathes life into your soul <3

Here’s a fun little example; In the movie Yes Man, starring Jim Carrey and Zoey Dechanel, Zoey’s character was a complete free spirit. She led running photography lessons – uh, what? However, I loved her attitude about it! She basically said that she knew there wasn’t a demand for blurry photos, but it didn’t matter to her, she did it because she loved it and it was fun for her! The same is true for us. Our passions may not get some award recognition, you may not be nominated for a Grammy or an Oscar, and your name may never be world renowned, but that doesn’t mean that what you have to offer isn’t important – it is! You may not impact the world, but you can impact your community, your friends, or your family. How about showing yourself what you’re made of?

I admit I wasn’t all gung-ho about starting yet another blog. I did feel led to write again, but I didn’t want to be another person adding to the abundance of people doing the same thing. Then I remember hearing a pastor talk about starting yet another local church in my area. He basically described having these same types of feelings – why should I start another church when there are so many? But I loved what he said next; He wasn’t doing it because there was a plethora of or a lack of churches, he was planting another church because he felt called to it. Whoomp! There it is! After reflecting on that, and for me, praying about next steps, I felt led to start this blog. Then boom, Pressed was born.

If 500 people are doing the thing you want to do, well, I guess you will make 501 – world, deal with it! People don’t have a copyright on your dreams.

In conclusion, pursuing your passions isn’t always about making a big name for yourself. Some people will make big names for themselves with their talents and that’s seriously amazing! However pursuing your passions and making an impact on yourself or the few people around you is just as profound. I don’t really know if this blog is going to become anything. There might be 500 people reading this or 5 – but either is just as valuable. Pursuing your passions also isn’t about whether or not other people are doing the same dang thing! If 500 people are doing the thing you want to do, well, I guess you will make 501 – world, deal with it! People don’t have a copyright on your dreams.

So what are you waiting for? Ready, Set, van GOgh! Because Rome wasn’t built in a day, and J.K. Rowling created Harry Potter as a single mother living on welfare. You can do this, even if you feel like you can’t. I believe in your abilities.

Keep pressing on,

-Amanda

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