Big girls in the back and pretty thin girls in the front,

After all that’s what the world says is pretty,

Based on ever changing Eurocentric standards.

Imma big girl- 

Big butt, big thighs, weighing 185 

Big stomach from being postpartum twice 

Big hair, big eyes, big smile,

Which means I gotta BIG MOUTH

And sorry, it doesn’t know how to stay shut,

When I feel like something’s not right or just.

SUBTEXT & SUBTLETY.

Those are truly key, in all of this. 

“You’re beautiful” (enough)

“You’re great!” (but not to headline)

And the general RESPONSE:

” I hear you but...(explanation)

“I apologize but…. (justification)

“Well, it’s good enough”

“Why are you bringing up this stuff?” 

“That was never my intention”

You don’t get a free pass because your “intentions were good,”

What you say may be short and sweet, but your words are still cutting.

Your ignorance is not B L I S S 

So how am I the bad guy in all of this?

I’m pointing out what’s wrong and what’s right,

You back yourself into a corner and indirectly put the blame on me,

That’s not fair, and it’s not nice.

So if I stand up I’m  A T T A C K I N G

And if I stand down, I’m FLOATING

So what is the place for me? 

People preach, to speak things with PEACE and LOVE;

PEACE and LOVE

PEACE and LOVE 

I’M ABOUT TO FLIP TABLES on your “PEACE AND LOVE” 

CAUSE

There’s no peace without LOVE 

There’s no love without ACCEPTANCE 

And not everyone is accepted the SAME 

You can tell me I’m being dramatic

But then I assume you are either white, thin, and/or pretty,

And wouldn’t get it

Because you are well R E P R E S E N T E D.

The truth is big girls DO cry,

And big girls get pushed aside,

But then big girls push back 

And they go, “I’m not just a big girl in the back-

IMMA HEADLINER, SHOWSTOPPER”

And no one’s going to stop her. 

You’re not going to silence me,

Because there’s too much of me that refuses to be unheard or unseen.

I am PRETTY!

And NOT just for a big girl,

Not just my face, my hair, but ALL of me

So screw the world and their standards for beauty!

And anyone that subscribes to thin, white, pretty,

That’s pretty petty, 

Because you are cheating yourself out of seeing so much 

~B E A U T Y~

The truth is ALL girls belong in the front,

And that back row should be empty.

Why?

Because ALL GIRLS ARE PRETTY GIRLS

——————————————————————————–

COMMENTARY:

Art is interpretive. As the artist of this writing piece, I would like to explain my interpretation: 

 I want to acknowledge difficult topics and have these hard conversations, to learn and grow from one another.

Pretty and thin always win- that is truly the way of the world. So let’s just call it what it is. Now knowing that is the way of world and acknowledging that truth and its harmful effects are two completely separate things. So when people make blanket statements like “everybody is beautiful as they are” but then only a certain body type is represented (a.k.a. thinner, white or as close white as possible) disproportionately to other shapes, sizes, and colors, NO you aren’t showing that you believe “every body is beautiful as they are;” You are still subscribing to that Eurocentric standard (a.k.a. white culture is the norm).

People then try to defend with mindsets like “Well, change needs to happen but we’re/they’re still doing a decent job,” or “That wasn’t my intention so can you just accept that and drop it?,” or “Here we go again… why can’t you just focus on other good things that are going on instead?”, or “Well everyone struggles with different things,” as if somehow this all excuses or negates the fact that change still needs to occur.These statements and mindsets are the equivalent of when someone says “Black Lives Matter” and then another person responds ignorantly/arrogantly “Well, All lives matter really,” and thinks they caused no harm. You literally dropped a bomb, ran away and naively acted as if you had nothing to do with the inevitable explosion; but you get to go about your life, unaffected. 

 Then some people ask, seemingly sympathetic, what they can do to change things. So, you give them a specific answer, but they don’t execute it. This is the same mindset of asking someone, ” How are you doing?” but expecting that they’ll just say they’re “fine”, because then you get the credit of offering help without actually having to do anything to help. So when someone actually offers solutions, many times they are met with silence, or that person is perceived as crossing the line/aggressive. Then when nothing changes and that person gets angry about it, they are the ones that look like the overreactive monster while the other party appears seemingly innocent. And at the end of the day,

All that person was trying to do was advocate for

~R E A L  C H A N G E~

So what do we learn here kids?  That we as a society like the idea of change but don’t really want to change things, because it can potentially cause discomfort, be a lot of work, and dare I say it- disturb the “status quo.” As a society we want the credit for appearing willing to change without actually having to execute change.

These things happen so subtly that people don’t even realize that it’s happening, or worse, that they are taking part in it. That’s why it’s called a

~M I C R O A G G R E S S I O N~  

This leads into the next problem of society: most people try to diffuse a situation by justifying, explaining, or bringing in other perspectives; but what is really needed in the moment is validation alone, no further justification or explanation. Most people don’t know how to just validate, or apologize, it’s always an “I hear you but,” “I’m sorry but” and we need to just eliminate that “but” mentality.

There’s definitely a time and place to bring in different perspectives. However when someone is sharing about their struggle, that isn’t the time for those other perspectives- that is the time for sympathy and validation of feelings. That’s the core point of BLM, body positivity, reclaiming the word slut, etc. Those harmful mindsets just bleed into everything- society, relationships, etc., and people need to recognize this in order to establish REAL CHANGE. 

~What is meant to be diffusion can undermine someone’s feelings, when all they needed was validation.~

This isn’t about intentions, offensives, defensives, or hurt feelings; This is about honest acknowledgement of the truth to change things for the better.

————————————————

Keep pressing on, 

-Amanda