The bluest of eyes, and smile lines,
Melts my heart every time.
So how could I,
Possibly want anything less?
I can’t help but “do the things I do not want to do,”
And when I tell you, You
Tell me, “Don’t worry darlin’,
I don’t know what you’re going through
But I promise to be here for you
For better, and for worse…”
You’re better, and I’m the worst.
Classic “daddy issues,”
Still i’m confused-
When I have something so great,
Why would I want second-rate?
I was your first, but you weren’t mine,
And I think about that all the time.
There was a time
When one was not enough;
And now a decade later,
I thought I was better
But in my mind
I’ve been with others many times…
And I know it’s not “lady-like” to have these kinds of struggles,
But boys aren’t the only ones who wrestle;
But I tell you
Don’t worry darlin’
It’s not you, it’s me
I’m not trying to hurt you,
I’m jus trying to come clean-
Because if I said I haven’t come close to deceit,
It’d be a lie;
But I cry,
And I try,
To not be satisfied
Unless it’s with you.
This internal war,
Leaves me torn;
But when I’m stressed, grieving,
A dopamine hit, though deceiving
Is what I long for.
I listened to Jay-Z’s track, 4:44,
I can relate,
Because it’s a shitty risk to take,
With so much at stake.
Sadly,
Logic can’t shake familiarity,
Although it does create false security.
Even still, I tell you-
Don’t worry darlin,’
And make no mistake
You are the love of my life,
And we’ll make it through this strife.
I’ll do better, not worse,
And I’ll get better, rebuking this curse,
For you,
For me,
For our family.
So don’t worry Darlin’…..
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